Holiday Mailbag: What fights do we hope Santa brings us for 2025?

12/24/2024 03:00 PM

The holiday season is upon us, and you know what that means: it's time to get weird.

There's no MMA for the next three weeks (well, there is still MMA, but none of the major organizations over here in the United States have shows), so we can stretch out our wings and explore some other fertile ground ripe for MMA discussion — case in point: Christmas.

As a wise man once said, I'm a peacock; you've got to let me fly! So that we will do, soaring into a grab bag of holiday-themed questions.

Christmas gifts

"If you could ask Santa for one fight (besides Jon Jones/ Tom Aspinall) to be made in 2025 what would it be?"

This is exactly the sort of question I was hoping to get, because there's no wrong answer, but there are quite a few right ones.

For instance, there are a number of fights already on the books for the coming months that are very, very good. Islam Makhachev vs. Arman Tsarukyan 2 is one of the best fights that can be booked, and Merab Dvalishvili vs. Umar Nurmagomedov ain't far behind. Dricus du Plessis running things back with Sean Strickland isn't exactly thrilling, but it's undeniably a good fight, and Zhang Weili vs. Tatiana Suarez is exceptional. That's all premium fisticuffs that I might normally pick, except they are already on the books, and you don't ask Santa for what you already have.

And along those lines, you should be reasonable with your requests of the St. Nick. He's got a lot on his plate and if you come out demanding a Porsche, well, that's probably not going to end well.

And on that note, who asks Santa for one thing? Sure if you're going to the mall and don't want to take up too much time on the old man's knee, maybe then you just hit him with the most-wanted item, but if you're asking for one thing, you're doing it wrong. You've gotta send Santa a list, my guy, that way he has options. And who knows, maybe he helps you out with more than one thing.

So with that in mind, I did the sensible thing and I made a list, and while I FedEx'd Kris Kringle a copy, I'll leave another here, just in case he's a reader.

1. Eddie Hall vs. Marius Pudzianowski. Look, I'm not going to change who I am, not for you or anyone. And while I love high-level MMA, I might love carnival sideshows more. Since the moment I watched Eddie Hall beat two dudes in an MMA fight by powerbombing one of them, I've hardly been able to think of any other fight. How KSW hasn't already booked this is beyond me because I would pay a king's ransom to watch this fight.
2. Dricus du Plessis vs. Jiri Prochazka. On the one hand, this would be like watching my two large adult sons fight; on the other hand, this would be watching my favorite two violence idiots fight. Can you even imagine how silly this fight would be? No one would have any idea who is winning until one of them suddenly knocked out the other, probably in very ridiculous fashion. I need it to happen before I die. Also, because I said this one, I'm banning both from future fights, because otherwise I'd just have 30 different matchups for each.
3. Charles Oliveira vs. Max Holloway 2. Their first fight happened a lifetime ago at featherweight and we were robbed of what should have been a good scrap. Now, the matchup is even better and we can put a nice bow on The Four Violence Kings era (Justin Gaethje, Dustin Poirier, Max Holloway, Charles Oliveira). Plus, this one requires minimal effort to book.
4. Ilia Topuria vs. Diego Lopes. Hopefully this fight does eventually happen, but with Topuria being super annoying about moving to lightweight, and Alexander Volkanovski getting first dibs on Topuria anyway, you never know. We could end up missing this matchup, which would be a shame as it's excellent.
5. Alex Pereira vs. Magomed Ankalaev. Screw you, this is both the fight that should happen and a great fight that I want to see.
6. Alexandre Pantoja vs. Kyoji Horiguchi. I really thought Kyoji was going to sign with the UFC and get an immediate title shot but instead it was Kai Asakura. That doesn't mean it can't still happen though and that is maybe the best flyweight fight possible right now.
7. Jose Aldo vs. Deiveson Figueiredo. There's something charming about the former featherweight champion fighting the former flyweight champion, and doing the thing in Brazil would make too much sense.
8. Joel Alvarez vs. Jalin Turner. Another matchup of two of my boys, but it would be the best kind. Two gigantic, no-defense-or-wrestling-having dudes who pack predatory offense. This is a Fight of the Year contender, I'm convinced.
9. Valentina Shevchenko vs. Dakota Ditcheva. This will never happen because the UFC will never co-promote (nor should they) but suddenly it's a matchup I'm deeply interested in.
10. Francis Ngannou in a 2-on-1 fight in PFL. I'm not remotely kidding. PFL needs to do something to get people interested, and I can't think of anything else they could do that would draw as much attention as this would. Plus, it would be awesome.

Come one, Santa! One time!

White Elephant

"What would you bring to a white elephant knowing full well Jon Jones would be in attendance? How would you ensure that he ended the night with your carefully selected gift?"

There's obviously a lot of ways to take this. Do we go with something generically pointed like a Tom Aspinall t-shirt? Or something more directly mean, like an Uber gift card? Perhaps a USADA jacket? Or something a little clever like a star maps of all the times he's been arrested? There's a lot of ways to go, but I think the best strategy is playfully pointed. That way the other participants all know the score and collectively work together to make sure Jon gets the gift.

So with that in mind, my choice is a life-size cutout of Tom Aspinall, wearing a "Chickens Can't Be GOATs" t-shirt. Jon standing with that would immediately become my new profile picture.

The, the, the, THE GRINCH

"1. Which UFC fighter is most likely to steal Christmas?

"2. Who is the best sledder in the UFC?

"3. Which UFC fighter would be best to have in a snowball fight?

"4. What would Alexander Volkanovski cook for Christmas meal?

"5. Is Roy Nelson Santa?"

I love all of these.

1. Dana White is obviously the most appropriate, but since you said fighter, I'm going with Jon Jones. Because while Merab Dvalishvili and Ilia Topuria (and even Alex Pereira a little bit) are trying to steal Christmas from their divisional counterparts (wanting to not defend the title against the next person in line) only Jones has successfully pulled it off. I still don't entirely understand how Jones was allowed to defend his title against a 42-year-old retired fighter who had not competed in almost four years instead of being forced to fight the interim champion, but he did it.
2. If we're talking regular sledding, it's probably Serghei Spivac. He's got the weight and with a name like "Polar Bear" we can assume he knows his way around the snow. But if we're talking Olympic bobsled, Alonzo Menifield. For that you want big, athletic fellas who can generate power but not be too heavy/clumsy. Menifield played professional football, he's monstrously athletic, and should be quick to learn how the necessities of bobsledding, if he doesn't know them already. Dominick Reyes would also be a decent choice here, though his height makes him less optimal, I think.
3. Again, going with a guy named "Polar Bear" probably isn't a bad idea, but neither is going with a guy who played college baseball; give me Stipe Miocic. He's definitely no longer in his physical prime, but something tells me Miocic knows his way around a snowball fight.
4. If you go and check out Volk's YouTube, you'll see that the man primarily is cooking grill fare; a lot of meat, burgers, etc. So it feels like he'd be a traditionalist when it comes to Christmas and do either a turkey, a ham, or a beef or pork rib roast. We always did the latter in my house, and that also feels the most up Volk's alley, so I'll say that.
5. Have you ever seen Roy Nelson and Santa in the same place? There's your answer.

Thanks for reading, and thank you to everyone who sent in tweets (Xs?)! Do you have any burning questions about things at least somewhat related to combat sports? Then you're in luck because you can send your tweets to me, @JedKMeshew, and I will answer my favorite ones! It doesn't matter if they're topical or insane, just so long as they are good. Thanks again, and see y'all next week.