Minnesota Twins Eccentricity & Ephemera: A Twinkie Town Definitive List (Round 15)

02/18/2025 09:00 AM

Touch 'Em All!

Rounds 1-14 Results:

1. Herb Carneal
2. Tom Kelly
3. The Metrodome
4. Jack Morris
5. Win Twins Theme
6. Dick Bremer
7. Bob Casey
8. Target Field
9. Metropolitan Stadium
10. Judge Harry Crump
11. Paul Molitor
12. Dan Gladden
13. Ron Gardenhire
14. John Gordon

As has become a theme in this series, another narrator of Minnesota Twins baseball makes the cut. While part of me wants to see the frivolous newsprint, mascot, or movie top the list one of these times, I admit I'm happy seeing John Gordon here. While perhaps not everyone's cup of tea, he will forever be my "voice of the Twins". There were too many late-night mid-2000s college study sessions with him in my ear for it to be otherwise.

Next: "Na na na na na na na na na—Batgirl!"

The Star Tribune Sports Section

• Gather 'round, children, and let me tell you of a time before the internet. In the hardscrabble analog age of human existence, following your local sporting nine was not a moment-by-moment affair. Instead, a rolled-up newsprint assemblage that magically appeared on your doorstep to meet the rising sun was often your best bet for baseball news. No shade to east Twin Cities suburbanites who received the Pioneer Press, but the west-side's Star Tribune had unassailable sports coverage that provided beat opinions and box scores to pore over for hours.

Little Big League

• When the Baby Boomers starting getting nostalgic in the 1990s, baseball was on the tip of their cinematic tongues. In 1994, an art-imitating-life story of the woebegone Twins hit theaters. Filmed at the Metrodome and featuring the vocal talents of John Gordon's "Wally Holland", Little Big League and its adolescent Billy Heywood gave young Twins fans a dream scenario. Whether teaching us math or exploring baseball's brand of humor, Little Big League remains an all-time classic in these parts.

TC Bear

• When you attend a baseball game as a child, you aren't concerned with stats or standings (okay, maybe I was, but I digress). You simply marvel at the grandness—sights, smells, sounds—of it all. It is very possible your first Minnesota Twins memory (even if you have trouble accessing it in grey matter folds) is high-fiving TC Bear in the Dome/Target Field concourse or observing his silly antics on the pregame field or atop the home dugout.

Jim Thome

• For years, Jim Thome tormented the Twins—Rick Reed in particular—as a member of the Cleveland Guardians or Chicago White Sox. In 2010, Big Jim continued his AL Central tour and jumped onboard the Twins for Target Field's inaugural campaign. Providing power not seen in these parts since Harmon Killebrew was in the batter's box, Thome gave the new ballpark its first magical moment and starred in a legendary commercial. A year later, he belted home run #600 in MN duds.

Batgirl

• By the mid-2000s, the times were a-changin' in MN baseball journalism. With the rise of high-speed internet, Twins blogs (everybody wave!) began popping up all over the web. In that virtual Wild West, perhaps none were so influential as Batgirl. No, not Barbara Gordon—Anne Ursu of Minneapolis. From 2004-2007 her LEGO re-enactments, Boyfriends schtick, and hilarious snark carved out new ground in Twins coverage. Baseball didn't have to be all grizzled, cigar-chomping beat reporters. Even without clubhouse access, fan coverage could be just as compelling—and almost certainly more entertaining!