Shohei Ohtani's uncharted territory

09/04/2024 02:07 PM

Shohei Ohtani returned to Anaheim for the first time on a team guaranteed to finish above .500 for the first time in his MLB career.

The axiom goes: "You can't go home again." Factually, that sentence is literally untrue as one can home to visit, assuming it's still there, whenever one pleases.

But the deeper meaning is that one cannot experience childhood again. At the risk of getting existential, on average, generally, by the time, one has turned 20, 90% of the time spent with your parents is over and done. [Author's Note: Sorry about the existential dread, assuming there is a healthy relationship and if able - call your parents.] The remaining ten percent is spread over the remainder of our lives until the end.

With that thought in mind, the Dodgers won their 82nd game of 2024 on Saturday, guaranteeing themselves a winning season before Labor Day.

If you did not realize that the Dodgers had crossed this milestone, you are not alone. The team's run of success over the past 14 years has left most blind to the most banal measures of success.

In fact, one has to go back to 2010 to find a season where the Dodgers did not finish above .500. The 2010 team went 80-82, fourth in the NL West, 12 games behind the soon-to-be-champion, not-yet-irrelevant San Francisco Giants.

Going back to the year 2000, the Dodgers have finished below .500 just twice.

While the McCourt years are in this accounting, the Dodgers have been pretty good (to be modest), especially once the McCourts were shown the door (joint venture aside in the parking lots, but this essay is not a Gondola piece).

The Dodgers have been so good, that most of us, just about all of us, have taken it for granted.

Here is a statistic to blow your minds: you have to go back to 2012 to find a season where the Dodgers had a winning percentage under .550, which is 92 wins in a full season.

Shohei Ohtani is having a season for the ages, which someone — ahem — saw coming. With all honesty, my original prediction was a 50-50 season, but then I looked and saw no Dodger had even had a 40-40 year.

My main thought was "I'm going to jinx this man if I say this thought out loud." And I don't believe in jinxes so I went conservative.

Ohtani has been in MLB since 2018 and not once has he been on a team that has finished with a winning record, much less at .500. The closest team that did was ironically the 2018 Angels who went 80-82.

The joy of leaving the nest is seeing birds fly...however, the Angels did not raise Ohtani.

They employed him. And while there, the Angels wasted his talents to a degree bordering on malpractice.

Also, the Angels hiredIppei Mizuhara to be Ohtani's translator. I suppose the correct title would be former translator, soon-to-be-federal-prisoner. If we are being precise Mizuhara is a now-banned, former Uber Eats driver who is awaiting sentencing and admitted to stealing more than $16 million of Ohtani's money.

Under Arte Moreno's ownership, the Angels have literally set more than $1.1 billion alight on terrible contracts. The worst of which, is most likely Anthony Rendon. The Angels paid Rendon $245 million to play third base in 2020.

Guess which team has the highest-paid third baseman in baseball?

Guess which team has used the most players at third base in baseball since 2020 with 28?

If you did not say the Anaheim Angels, I cannot help you.

Accordingly, the Angels are bad. Real bad.

Accordingly, Ohtani switched jobs, signed a contract exceeding the dreams of avarice, and is on a winning team for the first time in his career in the United States. Yes, the Angels had one last opportunity to match the proposed contract and declined to do so.

Had the Angels done so, who knows what Ohtani would have done? But thankfully, I suppose we will never know.

The preceding argument has nothing to do with any Angels fans because God knows they have suffered enough and their suffering will continue for the foreseeable future.

Tuesday was Ohtani's first game back in Anaheim since signing in Los Angeles. You cannot go home again but...

...clowning a bad old job is just fine!

It has been a few months. You would be forgiven if you had not been paying attention to the Angels.

Let us check in on our cousins from Orange County to see the quality of baseball that is being played as of late.

Oh my.

In case the video did not load, on August 31, the Anaheim Angels hit into a double play on a suicide squeeze play on a ball hit on the ground against the Seattle Mariners. The preceding sentence should only be possible in theory but the Angels are so bad, in some respects, they give the hapless Chicago White Sox a run for their figurative money.

If there was a play personifying the Angels' season, it was the suicide squeeze double play.

The Angels are in last place in the American League West, which would not be noteworthy under normal circumstances. However, the Oakland "We're leaving for Sacramento and have given up on trying on baseball in the interim" Athletics are three and a half games ahead of the Angels in the standings.

The sins of the Oakland Athletics are legion and have been discussed at length.

And yet, the Angels have nowhere to look but up, which feeds the literal irony that the team is figuratively in baseball hell.

If for some reason, one felt compelled to go see Ohtani's return to the Big A, and frankly, why would you, then I would argue that Dodger fans should refrain from openly gloating during this series.

My venom stems from seeing my friends who are Angels fans suffer. My venom stems from a mid-tier stadium experience (if one is being charitable) upcharged by an absurd, borderline obscene amount — just look at ticket prices for this series. But as I am powerless to change the circumstances, I can point them out.

Ohtani is far too modest and far too polite to gloat about his situation or the Dodgers' situation upon his return to Anaheim. On Monday, Ohtani told reporter Fabian Ardaya of The Athletic the following (paywalled):

"I'm just thankful and grateful for the teams that ended up offering a contract," Ohtani said through interpreter Will Ireton on Monday, the eve of Ohtani's first regular-season games back at Angel Stadium against his old club. "That's the reflection of what they think about me."

"For me, [Anaheim is] a special place," Ohtani said. "Obviously, I spent pretty much the most time (there) compared to other stadiums, and being able to spend the time playing in front of fans."

We should follow Ohtani's example and must take the higher road. Regardless of the outcome, the Dodgers must get through this unfortunate detour on their schedule as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Frankly, the Dodgers have much loftier goals to meet, and the only role that Anaheim can serve is as a spoiler. Once the Angels put their affairs into order, we can enjoy this cross-county rivalry again.

As it stands, to paraphrase that classic song, the Dodgers have to get out of this place — preferably as quickly as possible.